Don't steel!

maybe you should point it out to them

Scholes!
The town cryer suggests action.

Give that man a bell.

He has the end of one on display.

I wonder what the technical term for that conical thing on the end of the clapper is?

No end

Ooops, wrong thread

Welll, shame to waste it.

Just googled 'bell clappers'.



Is there a doctor in the house.

Is that another one of his symptoms?

Aye, and it's worse when your conical doings turns black

Coincidentally , I wonder if the conical doings is there to add a bit more weight/momentum to the 'hammer'.

Must be, else it's a trademark maybe?

Possibly?

Another one, plus some nice technical terms on drawing.

Anyroad, back to topic.

“Remploy means verything to them - it is not only a job, but a way of life.”

Here

Give that man a bell


someone on here has an head like a bell..............smooth and shiny

Remploy, have their staff all been made redundant now?

Wonder if 'some people' have spent up?

Cutting a lot of factories.

gosh another informative thread.....good on you

Comments from yesterday have been removed from the WEP article.

The general point was the wisdom of employees of such a funded company actually taking industrial action.

ie they were only going to lose their own wages. Not like holding a big corporation to ransom.

Looked on the G4S website earlier, found this job. 'Driver - Permanet - Stoke-on-Trent'.
I sent an email asking if they were looking for proof readers. Not expecting a reply.

Though on a more serious note, they have LOADS of jobs going, G4S jobs

Looked on the G$S websirte earlier.

Come back, Ena.

Get thee to a bakery.

Typing of olympics

MattGerrard
Reader
.
. This is made even funnier when your reporter manages to spell the mis-spelling incorrectly in the photo caption...

Posted: 2 hours ago.

Journalists eh. Tsk!

Was a nice little one in yesterday's WEP (Not online)

'Halford sand firestations'

Halfords and firestations

Item about driving tests.

A police spokeswoman said the driver of the engine and its trailer had been taken to hospital suffering from shock after the incident.

Tragic accident

God be with his family

If it is 'just' a fall, it's a totally freak fatality.

RIP

Sausage's

Sausage's seems to be a common one.

Sausage's, how they used to be made!

Nude male masseuse 'flew boy, 15, to London to work as a prostitute for 2012 Olympics’

Nasty story about a vile creature, but isn't a 'male masseuse' a masseur?

Indubitably so.
Now, did he loan you his ipad to use whilst he slept?

NO!

I hope you ar not trying to rub me up the wrong way.

I'm already peeeved that the WEP didn't put an article online containing the word 'roofs'.

A rather contentious one.

Either or.
Fiddlers on the rooves

Think it was an article about lead thieves (yesterday).

'Roofs' just looks iffy.

Get a roofer to look at them.

I'll have to google rieve, now.

Police were called to Kirkhall Lane in the town at about 12.30am on Saturday following reports of a collision between a Citreon Zara Picasso taxi and a 41-year-old pedestrian.

Tragic story

All the more reason to check for errors.

RIP

Citreon has been a common mis-spelling in the Observer group newspapers for many years. I wonder if it's down to the same writer/proof reader/editor

Do you mean spellcheck?

I don't think they have one.

If they have, it's broken!

Ooops

Found five other examples of 'Citreon'.

Amongst them is this classic:


Citreon C 1 the Eco Choice

Hiccup

In that article they got it mostly right. It's probably manufacturers blurb which has been C&P'd, even when it's in front of them they still got the caption wrong on the pic.

Spellcheck wouldn't help, if it doesn't have the word, (often the case with proper nouns), there is an option to add it to the vocabulary. If it's entered incorrectly, it will always be wrong.

You'd think newspaper employees would be up to scratch, even without a spellchecker, Kenee.

They must have dictionaries to hand.

Note to them; Aardvark is in the first half of the book.

gullible has been omitted fron the latest dictionaries

See 'snig'.

Cyprus Road, Worsley Hall

More local knowledge.

Again, a tragic story, and more reason to get it right.

Cypress

these people get paid to put these articles together. R.I.P, young man.

Yes. RIP.

Cannabis was the most commonly used drug, although its was also down.

Peawapp appears in comments.

And someone complaining about the grammar.

I've just been reading in the Daily Mail about 'the most smallest, westerly remote guest house in Britain'.

Mr Gollin said: 'We are the most smallest, westerly remote guest house in Britain and we are taking on one of the largest travel guide companies.

Daily Mail

According to reviews, it isn't the most bestest one.

Surely not the worseorest?

The headline may have meant of a lower rank, therefore correct.
Actually, it probably did, albeit subconciously.

In fairness to the DM, it was a quote.

They ran the headline, they take the blame.

Often annoys me when people are quoted directly when the jounalist (?) could have slightly bent the qoute to make it look less gormless.

Presuming the scribe is more articulate than the source.

Not just the WEP guilty of faux pas

Find a real pas

This one's for real

Have you noticed the P-A-D thread has been deleted.
Bad publicity for the site it seems.

Click

I thought yours was rather positive.

It was, and over a thousand views. So it served it's purpose.

And hopefully helped resolve the problem.

Well done, you.

ME, IT'S ALL ME I TELLS YE!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

Hypocrite

Posted by: walshy76 (7450)

If it bothers you that much don't reply

That's what I do when the thread ruiners come out with stupid irrelevant comments on the general section


Replied: 2nd Aug 2012 at 15:14

Posted by: Mac (3290)

Foolish post from a foolish dick.




Posted by: Mac (3427)

Thinking you are a buffoon, Dick. That's one thing we have in common.


by: Mac (8358)

oops @ extra i in second gratuitous.
It means, in this case, 'Uncalled for', particularly as this is a site Children visit.


Replied: 21st May 2012 at 18:21

Posted by: walshy76 (7450)

If it bothers you that much don't reply

That's what I do when the thread ruiners come out with stupid irrelevant comments on the general section


Replied: 2nd Aug 2012 at 15:14

Posted by: walshy76 (7471)

Hypocrite

Replied: 4th Aug 2012 at 18:50

awwwwwwwww not doing very well today are you.....why not try changing names

Whoops

AHEM!

See my lovely new 'Another Telegram For Tonker' thread.

No!

See Nip

Nip is a dog

See Nip run

Run Nip. Run.

Reminded me of T. Wogan's Janet and John Stories.

Exactly.

Tried to find the name of the dog. Google suggests some none PC stuff.

Saves having to explain stuff.

Not familiar with that, Mac. Apart from your earlier mention.

Humour abounds....
Have yourself a listen

Will listen later.

Asta tha listened, Baby?

Not yet. Sorry.

But I will.

"See John blub"

Expect complaints.

Int Google great
"Where they sat in there van on north western car park stuffing there faces, like they used to do in the 80s

Could be related to the people, or is it one person,who post things on here that know one can understand "

Posted by: dostaf (33287)

Often annoys me when people are quoted directly when the jounalist (?) could have slightly bent the qoute to make it look less gormless.

Presuming the scribe is more articulate than the source.

Replied: 3rd Aug 2012 at 18:50
Edit

A similar thing to that here:

A witness who alerted the emergency services told control staff the man was seen climbing on to a bridge and was then seen to fall.

More local knowledge.

The man, who is in his early 20s, fell around 25ft on to the tracks at Wigan Wallgate station from King Street West at around 1am on Sunday.

Here

Hope the lad is OK.

Maybe he was actually climbing up onto the bridge?
Hope alll is well wtith him.

Which bridge?

King Street West has a parapet, the station buildiing and Wallgate forms the 'bridge'. Though there is a small 'landing' type platform adjacent to the building which overhangs the track. (KSW)

I dunno, Isn't there a latticework one around those parts?Just a suggestion is all.

Possibly a signal gantry, but I don't think it forms a bridge.

I know it's pedantic when a poor lad is in a bad way, but again seems like iffy reporting.

Witness could have described it as a 'bridge'. Journalist with local knowledge would have questioned it.

I take your point.

Cheers.

Also to clarify, I'm not suggesting the witness in that report is gormless.

My self quote in purple really refers to items where quotes could have been slightly polished, without misrepresentation.

Clear pics of the wall/parapet

I have personally seen many people climbing onto the railings (see pic 4) over the years.

Possibly why the story struck a chord.

The 'landing' I mentioned is for the door seen here.

From here

Burger's

Can't not include this one from 'Politics'


Posted by: sledge (2462)

Why dont you look for it and prove me wrong

You r beahvouir was out of order...end of.

Broady?....note the Clrs grammer, and this guy DOES work for the council (alledgedly)

Replied: 9th Aug 2012 at 22:52

People really shouldn't store thrones.

Sum peepl maik rods for there oun baks.

A timely reminder:


Posted by: dostaf (33398)

Let me explain.

Some folk (myself included) , have a bit of fun with each other when it comes to typo's.

Mache is the Grand Master. You should have seen the near misses he had with the simple word 'walking'.

But.

And this is important.

I wouldn't comment about eveyone's errors as I would hate to put folk off who are not the best of spellers. Some may have left school at an early age, and are even now just plucking up the courage to use a keyboard.

These people are to be encouraged, rather than put off.

As you have brought Borg's error to our (and his) attention:

Welcome to the club.

In other words, you too are fair game.

Replied: 7th Aug 2012 at 14:25

Condition: Instead of hair, human nails grow out of her hair follicles, but doctor's have yet to establish a cause

Poor show.
Horrible ailment for the Woman though. The Reporter should be docked wages.

The things is - this was triggered by a reaction to drugs that were administered to her. In this country the NHS would deal with it - there would be no reason for her or her family to be out of pocket.

Surely the manufacturers of the drugs given to her should be footing the bill - as would be the case here?

“Your admissions to teh police make it clear this was not a one off.”

Tsk again.

Make many similar ones (on here) myself with letters in wrong order.

But I seldom use spellchecker. You'd think that would be second nature in this day and age to a Journalist with something about to be published.

Seldom?..You do occasionally? OH the ignominy.

Yes, I admit it, although not often. Usually when on Pedant alert.

"I am Michael Pain, and I am a nosey Neighbour"

Not a lot of people know that.

Who said that?

You, just then

I may have typed it, bit Mr Caine never said it.

Or am I thinking about the 'My name is Michael Caine' one?

Google time

But you said it,albeit in your head.

They can't do you for thinking.

Peter Sellers, by the way.

Almost

Sellers.

How apt for your pedantic thread.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

To err is human.

I changed it from Sellers to sellars as well.

Ask Wayne Rooney.

I just thought of that.

August explanation; Wayne says "errrrrr" a lot.

Most footballers do, it's a prompt.

In fact, I'm wrong again.

Wayne says 'errrm'.

The cause of the blaze is not yet known as inquiries are ongoing with both the fire and police.

Ask a silly question

Movie theaters showing The Expendables 2 combed for bombs after phone threat

Could argue that it's an American story, but in the actual article the word is used correctly three times.

Lazy articles!

BLOODY DISGUSTING!

'Johnson' 'Johnson's'

The piece is littered with this.

Such disrespect is usually reserved for the perpetrator, not the victim.

news,scotsman.com

Johnson’s death early on Saturday morning in a Manchester hospice at the age of 78 added a cruel twist to the brutal and unfinished saga of the Moors Murders, whose dark horror has hung over Britain for half a century

Johnson devoted 48 years to finding her boy, the cheeky and happy-go-lucky lad who loved marbles and cycling, and collected leaves in a scrapbook


Johnson always believed that Brady and Hindley, who were convicted in 1966 for the murders of John Kilbride, 12, Lesley Ann Downey, 10 and Edward Evans, 17, killed her son, although it was over 20 years before either of them admitted it.

The living room of Johnson’s modest Manchester home was adorned with pictures of Keith. There was Keith, toothy and smiley, hair a bit scruffy and wire-rimmed glasses askew, in the picture that had peered out from newspaper pages for years, now draped in rosary beads


This week, Johnson will be laid to rest, while her lost son still lies out somewhere on the moors.



FILTHY JOURNALISM



Edit:

Up late reading news stories etc. This one ^^^^ (bad job) has really got me. One thing doing a bit of nit-picking, but that's just ignorant.

Total lack of respect.

Chairman of Wigan Conservative Federation Michael Winstanley said: "It is quite clear that building on this land will have an adverse impact on the local wildlife and the recreation facilities that generations of Wiganer's have been able to enjoy. It is also clear that the local area doe not have the infrastructure to cope."


WEP 23 Aug page 2 Gidlow Protest

Rogue Apostrophe eh!.

But on that note, I was conversing with a Gentleman Yesterday on the wildlife population about the new builds, and the new infrastructure.
He wondered where the Squirrels would go., I said they would find somewhere in time, sadly, most of the other wildlife (Hedgehogs, etc) would be buried alive.

Interesting point.

Don't some developments have Wildlife Officers involved, to try to relocate as much as practicably possible the critters concerned?

Mind, I'm probably thinking of larger projects such as motorways which are developed by much larger concerns.

Legendary fighter ace John 'Cat's Eyes' Cunningham - who put his eyesight down to eating carrots - have emerged for sale for £200,000

Medals

GCSE marking wrong ???

DOZEN of Wiganers

lol!

Local paper for local people.

Grill

Grilling

Grille

More local knowledge?

The car then sped off up along the one-way system, however it isn’t known for sure whether the driver turned right towards Miry Lane and Wigan town centre or left towards Newtown

Injured cyclist

Hope Mr Parry recovers and maintains confidence whilst on the road.

Also hope (wishful thinking perhaps) the culpris are caught.

Another in hot water.

Features steel chassis, polished aluminium bonnet and brass radiator grill

Tsk!

But despite Mr Day, then a teenage fishermen, showing police the unexploded rocket lying in the mud - it remained there largely undisturbed for 68 years.



Great-grandfather Ruben Dace warned police of the V2 missile after watching falling just off the coast of East Anglia

Here

Grill n. 5. Variant of grille.

No. No. No.

Stamps foot.

I googled before getting egg on chin.

See

I was going to say see here, for example, but then noticed the 'Bargin Bin'.

grill2
n
(Engineering / Automotive Engineering) a variant spelling of grille
[see grille]
Collins English Dictionary – Complete and Unabridged © HarperCollins Publishers 1991, 1994, 1998, 2000, 2003

'Bargin Bin'

It's still'grille'.

Have a word with 'The world's most trusted dictionaries' ...

... and they might have a word, or two, to say to you.


Spelling

In the United States*, "grille" is used to avoid confusion with the cooking device, called a "grill".

*Eggs-actly!

I feel some bad press comiing on.

Turned out nice again

I mean coming.

By George, I think he's got it, The Borg.

Bad press? I wouldn't do that, Dostaf, but I would ask you to take more care when reading.

(Who is behind The Huffington Post? (17:49 )

And that is why I mentioned Jets on a new thread, rather than on here.

What is well happy?

Oohhh that's shoddy.

Ignore 14:31

I usually do.

A gray cat is caught getting frisky with its friend, or sneaking up behind to snatch him by his throat

Saw the majority of those pics a couple of weeks ago on an American site. Lazy bleeders could have re-worded to UK English.

'Beside himself: Seen entirely tuckered out, an orange and white kitten slumbers while folded in half on the couch'

Two reasons for posting this, one is obvious.

St Trinnian's!

After much googling I can not find a proper type of description.

there was a time when that 'caricature' was common on every other carnival.

In latter years it has been seen by many as playing into the hands of pervs. (Not literally)

'But they ended up kissing and they began touching each others and she said she wanted him to have sex with him.'

Would be laughable if it wasn't a very serious story.

Man Cleared

Jimmy Saville's headstone.

Two of the gang were wearing dark grey clothing underneath a high visibility sleeveless jacket.

Here

oOps

^^^^

Only one higher case O in Oops, Mache.

Sorted.

Wrong thread.

A**S hole

Now I'll have to put it back.

On a serious note, there was something posted on here once about sticking asterisks in word to disguise swearing being unacceptable.

Google isn't helping.

Was a few years back, Mache.

Dr Tim Dalton (pictured)

GCSE's
They want to replace thm!

The decision by Education Secretary Michael Gove to replace thm with new English Baccalaureate Certificates (EBaccs), beginning with English, maths and science in 2015 with further subjects to follow, has led to accusations of a two-tier education system’s being restored.

Saville or Savile?

One 14-year-old girl tells the programme how she met Sir Jimmy at a school in Surrey in 1974 and he assaulted her in his caravan which was parked in the school grounds.

Here

A certain change in the air.

Howard Gallimore, whose eponymous restaurant charges £6.95, said:

Here

Must have a degree.

@WiganCouncil Flooding near bridge on Manchester/Wigan Road, Hindley/Ince nr to junction of Semen Way. Take extra care!

Retweeted by Wigan Council

Vet Saves Bat

Not checked for errors. I just guesed who.

And after reading about it being from Huddersfield, I had a look at their news.

And guess what?

I nearly commented the other week about an abscence of adve erm. 'articles'.

He does get about a bit...saving creatures.

Is he a WW member?

Don't know mester, but he always seems to attract media attention.

I presume there are other Veterinarians in the town.

A pic of a stagnation o 'lung incident would be handy.

The gatehouse, which carries the emblems of two prison reformers, John Howard and Elizabeth Fry and became famous as the entrance to HMP Slade in the Porridge TV series.

Know nowts.

Well why do you tell them

Ripped down: A sign is torn from its berth at Hillsborough

Berth?

New 100% eco sky lantern, no wire no metal part, use dragon wool instead of wire.

H&T is the leader of sky lantern manufacturer, the paper we use is best quality fireproof paper, even light each part of lantern, it will not catch fire. And we pay much attention on how to keep lantern more and more stably when flying. For package, each lantern is packed in a high quality pp bag, supply a colorful coated paper instruction, each bag also contains a small bag of dryer, keep the lantern paper not affect with damp. And this new type sky lantern is 100% biologic degradable, we use fiberglass rope (also name dragon wool) instead of wire, so this new type eco lantern is no metal part.

Here

Headline: Two UK soliders killed at checkpoint in Afghanistan
God be with them.

RIP

They corrected their error (twice).
They have also removed comments because someone picked up on it.

I was puzzled.

The headline was as I copied and pasted.
Fixed now, anyway.

'soliders'

Cheers

Operation Stasafe.


Y Knot

They use word processors as well!

Mother-of-four who used to eat 17,000 calories a DAY is now a third of the women she was after losing over 60 per cent of her body weight and dropping 12 dress sizes

Here

Will probably soon go as it is a title link.

'Woman' on actual article header.

Multiple personality eating.

A belter.

Whole story's a mistake

But at least Wigan got a mention in the Wigan paper, albeit for no apparent reason.

I enjoyed the comments on that one.

Britain’s top expert on serial killers said police should probe whether the pair developed a friendship before Sutcliffe was caught – and the family of the Ripper's first victim have joined calls for officers to question Savile.

Here

Good grief!

The Cold Case lot will have their joined hands full.

I'm too good for this place, I really am.

Olympic hero Bradley Wiggins leaves hospital after breaking ribs during training ride collision with woman van driver

Not the van then?

Here

Crow Orchard Lane, Wrightington, Lancs where accident took place

Crow Orchard Road on pic

For all Tonker fans, note abscence of 'Wigan' on map.

A big un

You and your boasting...It's the same size!

Mention leading others' fellows and out of cubicle three comes a friendly stranger ^^^^^^

Shut up!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-charmin'!

He doesn't look best pleased at the publicity he is getting there!

True.

His wife sounds a tad vexed too.

“I’ve heard all sorts of names being banded around and what then tends to happen is, of course, everyone sits around and speculates about people

Here

If you recognise yourself in the photo, or if you know who either of these women are, please call police.

In regard to the tragic death of Mr. Farrell.

Wigan Council chief executive Donna Hall today said she had no option but to report the matter to police.

He said: “The council has received complaints regarding the posting of a video on a local website.

Here

Following the AGM it was decided that the Community Action Party will campaign to reduce the number of local councillor’s in all 10 Boroughs by two-thirds and to abolish the Greater Manchester Combined Authority.

Here

Seemingly a common error.

Apostropous!

Indeed.

From a headline in the Mail.

'Wicked' woman who befriended pensioners stole £10,000 from their bank accounts and spent the cash on luxury holidays




Tracey Cullen (pictured right and left) from Doncaster, offered to help her victims with shopping before stealing their details to pay for a Caribbean cruise and a family trip to Disneyland Paris. Sentenced to 22 months at Sheffield Crown Court (main picture) it also emerged that she had 29 previous convictions, many for deception and stealing from her employers.

(Bit sexist)

Left/right. More politics.

Which one did you look at first?

My right.

Is this a psychological test question?

The victim- who has asked not to be identified - said that the devise was “sneaky” and, with many older people living in the area, could have a devastating effect on their household budgeting if they ended up losing part or all of their pensions.

Here

“I put my card in and punched in £20"

However in November 2010 he was involved in a collision and police discovered a half-drunk whiskey bottle and two bottles in his beer and he was arrested for drink driving.

Also

The former paratrooper, who served in the Falklands war

Currently aged 48 and jailed when he was a youth?


Here

People who complained about 71-year-old woman's music were reportedly among thugs who rule the street - and who make the woman's life a misery

Shouldn't that be:

Thugs who rule the street - and who make the woman's life a misery were among people who complained etc?

Here

Tragic story

But sloppy headline. Anniversary

Fire Crews attended a fire at a Wigan bakery, the Hovis bakery site on Cale Lane. A blaze was reported at a workshop involving a acetylene cylinder las Monday morning on December 18th.

Wigan Gazette

http://wigangazette.co.uk/archives/9964

Local Election Results

Wigan Gazette

http://wigangazette.co.uk/archives/7483

he'll lost?

You wouldn't get that rubbish in the Hotten Courier.

Gradely, nowt tekk'n owt!

Appen!

Fuselage: The damaged rotor of the plane was one of many pieces of the helicopter mechanism on the ground

Pic description

Video clips from his phone was played to the jury of five women and seven men and videod police interviews with the girls will be shown to them as the trial progresses.


Here


You'd expect the most serious of articles, such as this, to be afforded more accuracy.

Nice to see an old thread reopened

You really are an ASSet to this site

Just been checking my records

Dear Lord, I do hope nobody accidentally reopens that one.

Feel free, at least it gets the day over with mester

Posted by: walshy76 (10518)


Nice to see an old thread reopened

You really are an ASSet to this site


Replied: 8th Feb 2013 at 14:12


Gawd bless yer.

And long may you compliment my repartee.

How can anybody not compliment someone who's give up there life for this site

I'll explain that one later.

Well dont leave it to long, because as you know I wont be on here allnight, ill be going out, after all it is the weekend

It is googleable.

Your the expert on Google, so I'll leave it to you mester,

It's a bloody homophone.



At least I did it on the right thread.

384

Ery, or Ary?

Which reminds me.

Williams: Right lovely boys, let's have a look. Oehhhhh, very good. Very artistic. Wait a minute. Gunner Graham?

Gnr Graham: Sir.

BSM Williams: Come here.

Gnr Graham: Sergeant-major.

BSM Williams: University education.

Gnr Graham: Yes, yes that's quite right Sergeant-major.

BSM Williams: How do you spell artillery?

Gnr Graham: A-R-T-I-L-L-E-R-Y

BSM Williams: No no. You spell it A-R-T art, I-L-L ill, A-R-Y ary. It's not artillery, it's artillary, artillary! I've been in this regiment 22 years, and I oughta know.

Gnr Graham: Probably you haven't seen it very often Sergeant-major, it's usually only the initials AR.

BSM Williams: You trying to make out I don't know how to spell it?

Gnr Graham: No I...

BSM Williams: SHUT UP!

Or 8:40

Apologies to Mac for ruining thread with self humiliation.

Yes. Mache. Sticking pins in, could help.

In't google great?

Providing you know what to enter into the search.

When interviewed Johnson admitted that he had drunk four or five vodka and Red Bulls and a couple of Jeigermeisters and felt tipsy

Here

Jägermeister

I can forgive a missing umlaut.

Absolute cracker on yesterday's front page of a local paper.

Mr Parkinson, who is Wigan born and bread,

Local loafer ?

Far from it, actually, Mache.

I should point out that Mr Parkinson is involved in a worthwhile campaign about the regulation of gaming machines in betting shops.

FOBTs Fixed Odds Betting Terminals

jump between jobs ?

Has it been fixed?

Not yet

Can't see the 'jump between' bit.

Hoppit

Dohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You bloody notreet.

You need to change your sodding thread titiles. (And get a proper indexing system for your caption comps)

Just been all over the bloody thread you did about St George's Day parade looking for a letter.

Then, after looking for a mention of jumping between jobs on this one, I find another missing letter is the key.

Confusion is the price of strife

You're hard work att times, Mache.

I mean, look at this:

'I who sent'

Worthy of a 'Don't Steel' mention in its own right.

Mad title

An song

I missed wonder out

Yes, you did.

And then went on to say it wasn't you who sent the letter.

Best I could do to cover the cockup

MERKIN!

Vicious assault

But a poor description.

Liverpool Crown Court heard that before the gang ran off after the sustained attack the victim’s trousers and underpants had been pulled down and one of the gang had threatened to cut off his privates.

Private parts, maybe.

But 'privates'.

Finally, do you not realise how worried "some people" have been about you

Wiki

I often wonder why Skelmersdale news is so frequently published in the Wigan Evening Post.
Let's face it, Skelmersdale is nowhere near Wigan and, therefore, Wigan readers will have no interest at all in it's news. After all, "they're Scouytsers in Skem, laaaaike"!

And Skelmersdale is much harder to spell than Leigh.

A mystery indeed.

No they're not. They're Skem Scousers.

I know they're not. You know they're not. But the majority of Wiganers (propers and pseudos) believe they are, 'cos they talk different than us, raaaaght'?

They are Skem Scousers. I live, work, and eat with them.

I have done for over 30 years.

'propers and pseudos'

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Sir Peter Fahy said policeman were being tied up for as long as eight hours after being caused to incidents involving people who are acutely mentally ill, and the number of cases was increasing alarmingly.

Wigantoday

Just the one officer?

Katie Beattie, prosecuting, said the 36-year-old was clocked stealing bacon and coffee - worth £51 - from Tesco on March 20 and was subsequently chased by the manager.

Speediing?

Here

Clocked!

They'll be quoting my correspondence about yon church next.

I know 'clocked' means 'seen/noticed', but surely sloppy journalism?

Two qualifications needed for a local journalist:
Knowledge of the area, & a command of the English Language!!

WEP, as far as these are concerned, could well be renamed:

"The Bangalore Evening Telegraph"